Wednesday, August 15, 2012

An Open Letter To Twitter

So I'm having a party at my house and everyone's invited, right? There are so many people there from all over the place and it's kicking. You get the usual party antics - people pair off and go upstairs to find a quiet room; others square off and shout and bawl for a bit until one of them storms off. But in general, everything's cool. Everything works.

But then I start to get disturbing reports. I hear from multiple people that one of my guests is showing child pornography to anyone that wanders near enough. I already know that some of the guests at this party are kids themselves. Multiple people seek me out (You can always find me in the kitchen etc.) and ask me - beg me - to remove this person. And it's my party. My responsibility, ultimately.

So what do I do?

Well - if I'm Dick fucking Costolo (CEO of Twitter) I put my fingers in my ears, shut my eyes and go 'LA LA LA LA LA I CAN'T FUCKING HEAR YOU LA LA LA LAAAAA.....' or something to that effect, anyway. And then I turn around and have another glass of 'Fuck You All' Punch.

Well, Dick - I'm here to tell you that your party sucks. The atmosphere might be great on times, the guests might be varied and interesting, but your house rules suck balls. 

To allow accounts that openly distribute child porn on Twitter and THEN drag your heels for DAYS while countless people plead with you to take action? Son, you need a fucking slap. Hard. It was lucky that so many of your 'guests' took it upon themselves to report what they found to external authorities, because it looks like you were too fucking busy being the big CEO  to take any notice yourself. Oh, and before you throw some bollocks in about your security measures being 'updated' and 'improved' - this was taken from a report in January 2012:

The Child Exploitation and Online Protection Centre (Ceop) has urged Twitter to address its fears that some paedophiles use the site to discuss abuse and link to pornographic images.
Twitter said safety was a high priority and it acted immediately on complaints of inappropriate behaviour.                           BBC News Online, 11 January 2012

Which is clearly a massive pile of bullshit, Dick. 

Sort it fucking out before your party crashes early.


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